You’re a fight like gravel-skin. You are a sweet peach, a bite that closes my eyes, reminds me that I like peaches sometimes. I feel like great ocean cliffs, I feel wave worn. You are so unmusical sometimes, cold steel running gear, you steam through my veins and I keep going too. You’re in all ways, every pore, every breath.
Tonight I need to remember that being alive, existing, is not some external force pushed on me daily, but internal, silent, so active. Something I do, not something I passively influence. I’ll make resolutions tonight, I’ll stop giving up, being resigned to some imagined fate (an illusion that everything I do falls apart, everything I touch is wrong). I keep trying at things that in my mind will validate my existence. Everything except trying to live life fully and truly and joyfully.